You think your partner is the one and you dream about your shared future. You think everything is going well in your relationship – and then, suddenly, just like that, they decide to leave. There’s no way you could have predicted something so out of left field … or could you?
When someone begins to consider leaving a relationship, there are always signs. They’re subtle, but they’re usually noticeable if you keep an eye out for them. Sometimes, though, even your partner doesn’t know they’re showing these signs. Even while they are drifting away from you, it may be entirely in their subconscious.
In order to avoid being blindsided and maybe even save your relationship, you need to be aware of the signs that you’re heading for a breakup. Here are some changes in a relationship that reveal someone may be about to leave.
1. Spending Less Time Together
When you love someone, you want to spend a lot of time with them. This doesn’t mean you don’t have me-time, which is very healthy for any partner to have. It just means you try to find time to relax and go out with your significant other.
If your partner doesn’t want to go out with you anymore, is avoiding your texts, and always has some excuse or another as to why they can’t spend time with you, take it as a warning sign. Unless they have urgent or important commitments, something is likely wrong.
- The same goes for a partner who always cancels on you.
- They’re late to date nights, they cancel planned outings, and they don’t help to plan any future dates.
- This means you’re likely not very high up on their list of priorities.
If you live with your partner, they might suddenly be coming home later than usual, even though they don’t have extra work or any commitments outside. They just may be trying to avoid coming home to see you. It’s alright for someone to need a little space, but this should be discussed in conversation, not done in a sneaky way.
2. Changing Passwords
Not all partners share their passwords, but if you do, you’re one of 67% of Internet users who do so with their significant others. It’s a big sign of trust and shows that you feel positive about the relationship.
So if your partner’s passwords have suddenly changed and you don’t have the new ones, it may be a sign that their trust in you is diminishing or that they no longer want you involved in their personal life. (Of course, you should talk to your partner first instead of jumping to conclusions! They may have just forgotten to tell you.)
This is especially significant if their password used to have something to do with you, like your anniversary date, your birthday, or an inside joke. This could mean they are removing traces of you from their life so it’ll be easier for them to leave.
3. Changing “Argument Behavior”
Fights are normal in any relationship. A few arguments here and there don’t mean you’re a bad couple, and there are plenty of positive ways to handle disagreements. But if the way your partner argues changes significantly, it may be because they’re about to leave.
A partner who suddenly refuses to fight with you at all, ever, is losing interest in the relationship. They’re no longer interested in fighting, likely because they don’t see any solutions or don’t feel like it’s necessary to find any since they’ll be gone shortly.
On the flip side, your partner may suddenly pick a lot more fights. They may be unusually grumpy and snappy, signs that their patience with you is wearing thin. They may also be doing so in order to get you to break up with them first.
- Whichever change your partner makes in their arguing behavior, it’s worth talking to them about.
- Fights and confrontation are difficult, but if there’s a way to fix something, they’re necessary.
- Try turning them into positive discussions instead of angry arguments.
4. Excluding Or Avoiding
If you and your partner have met each other’s family and friends already, this change will apply to you. Your partner may suddenly say they’re not interested in meeting your family again, and they might be reluctant to have dinner with your friends, even though they had fun doing so last time.
Similarly, your partner may not want you to meet their family or friends again. They’ll come up with excuses to keep you away from them, and you may even notice that their loved ones don’t talk to you as much as they used to.
If you and your partner were in it for the long haul, then each other’s friends and family are going to be right there with you. So if your partner suddenly doesn’t want you to be a part of each other’s lives in that way anymore, it may be because they don’t plan to be with you for much longer.
5. Priority Shifts
You used to be your partner’s number one priority. They would drop absolutely everything for you if you needed them. All the challenges you face were done with strength, togetherness, and positive thinking. (And, of course, you would do the same for them in a heartbeat!)
Now, all of a sudden, they can’t drive you to a hospital appointment because they just decided to hang out with their friends that weekend. Or they can’t do date nights at home anymore because they’ve decided to take overtime work – even when your financial situation is fine.
We know that life can be hectic and people can get busy. But if your partner’s explanation for their change in priorities doesn’t seem to indicate any extra business, they might be losing interest and are likely preparing to leave.
What if they aren’t preparing to leave, but aren’t likely to shift their priorities back to you? Well, it may be time for you to leave, instead. Explain to them that this isn’t the relationship you signed up for and that if they’re going to consider everything else above you, you’ll have to call it quits.
6. No More Conversation
Couples talk all the time. They share secrets, so-called mundane facts about their days, and just openly speak about their thoughts. But if your partner is now giving you one-word answers and has stopped asking how your day went, there could be trouble in paradise.
- If your everyday small talk and casual chit-chat are suffering, you can likely imagine what is going on with more serious discussions; they stop happening all together.
- This makes it impossible to have any kind of conversation with your partner.
- You’ll feel disconnected and like you’re not being listened to.
If your partner stops asking you questions and stops talking to you outside of basic necessity, they may be losing interest in you. Unfortunately, that means they’re likely not too far away from leaving the relationship.
7. Sudden Forgetfulness
This doesn’t just mean forgetting anniversaries, birthdays, or errands and tasks. It refers to the little things that your partner may suddenly be neglecting and claiming they forgot about.
For example, your partner may know that you absolutely love a certain kind of tea and therefore always makes sure your pantry is stocked with them. Then, suddenly, it just stops, and your partner never buys you that tea again – even when you ask if he can continue the old routine.
Tiny, simple gestures like this actually mean a lot in a relationship. They’re a sign of caring and love, showing that your partner wants to make your day better and is paying attention to your habits and likes. When they stop doing these things, they’re no longer interested.
8. Changes In Intimacy
For allosexual couples, intimacy usually plays a significant role in the relationship. Intimacy is one piece of the puzzle that makes the partnership fulfilling and happy. Most people, in general, crave some form of intimate interaction from their partners, even if it’s non-sexual.
As such, if your partner suddenly doesn’t want to be intimate, engage in intimate behavior, or even cuddle and kiss anymore, there’s a good chance that they’re considering leaving. Sure, sometimes work, stressful events, and health issues can contribute to a lack of interest in intimacy – but if none of this is going on and your partner has suddenly shut you out, it’s a bad sign. The same also goes for the opposite situation.
- If your partner suddenly only wants to be intimate and doesn’t want to talk, go out on dates, or do anything else at all, it’s a bad sign.
- Intimacy is fun, but your entire relationship shouldn’t consist of just that.
- It means your partner may no longer like you on any level other than physical, and they may be about to leave.
9. They Don’t Want To Discuss The Future
This very subtle change is something you’ll want to be on the lookout for, as it’s a very significant one and, usually, the most telling. Someone who is planning to stay with you is happy to discuss the future, make plans with you, and talk about long-term goals. Someone who has decided they don’t see you in their future isn’t going to want to do any of that.
There’s also a chance that they do still discuss the future with you – but don’t seem to include you in their plans. You want a dream wedding with your partner. They just want a dream wedding, full stop. You want to go to Bali with your partner for a holiday. They just want to go to Bali for a holiday, and they don’t seem to suggest it has to be with you.
If you’re bringing up future plans and your partner changes the subject or gets awkward and uncomfortable, it may be because they’re not really considering you as a part of their future anymore.
Of course, there are lots of other reasons that talking about the future can suddenly seem scary. Talk to them about it first and see if they’re struggling with other aspects of the future – maybe they’re no longer happy in their career, or their dreams for a future home location have changed and they don’t want to upset you.
Final Thoughts On Some Changes In A Relationship That Reveal Someone May Be About To Leave
If your relationship displays a lot of these changes, does that mean it’s the end of the road? Not necessarily, so don’t panic. Always maintain your positive thinking. This is a great opportunity to talk to your partner about these changes and hash out the problems that may be causing them.
There’s also a chance that the whole thing is a big misunderstanding. That’s why it’s best to communicate instead of making assumptions. If something is concerning you, talk to your partner about it and get to the bottom of it, together.